I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Randomize
