You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
Randomize
