We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize
