im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
