hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
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