I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
