Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Randomize
