it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Randomize
