a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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