The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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