Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Randomize
