piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
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