why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
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