when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
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