just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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