I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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