hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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