Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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