I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
