Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
