I wish I could punch you in the face.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
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