when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize
