dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Randomize
