How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Randomize
