im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
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