dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize