Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
