Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
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