i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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