So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Randomize
