Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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