yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Randomize
