it wasn't lemon gatorade
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
I have aggressive nipples.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
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