we're blogging at a bar
Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
Randomize
