he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
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