hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Randomize
