Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
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