HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
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