dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Randomize
