The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
