She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
