Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
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