Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
