so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
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This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
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This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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