Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
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