yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
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