Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have grass duct taped all over my body
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
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