Banned from zoo.
Again?
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
