Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
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