I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize
