absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
