My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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