Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Just high enough for therapy.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
