maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
OPIZZABONMYDICK
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Panties = found
Randomize
