I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Randomize
