Walk of Shame. In a state park.
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
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