this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
