then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
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