It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
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