you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
