Nicole vs. Life
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
