how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
vagina is talking i cant
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
