Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
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