my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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