giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Randomize